ONE SHOT
Yes, I know the title sounds strange, but I wouldn’t know how to put it any other way.
I grew up in the countryside, surrounded by humble people, but with vast land and resources that those from the city would envy.
The greenery was our wall, and the rivers were our escape.
My siblings and I used to play with the Torres brothers.
All boys, all strikingly handsome.
It was fun getting into mischief with them, helping each other with household chores, and going to the village school together.
We grew up like family, looking out for one another.
There were four of them; there were five of us: three girls and two boys.
I was the oldest, and therefore, I had more responsibilities at home.
Two of the Torres brothers were older than me, one was my age, and the other was two years younger.
There was Juanpa, the firstborn; Diego, the second; Ricardo, the third; and Rey, the youngest.
All the girls in the village sighed over the Torres brothers… except Juanpa.
Not because he was ugly, because he wasn’t.
His face was just as symmetrical and masculine as his brothers’, but he lacked the charm the others naturally radiated.
The Torres family was one of the wealthiest among the farmers.
Their sons wore clothes brought in from the city, spoke with an uncommon refinement, and excelled in their studies.
All except Juanpa.
He repeated grades, didn’t speak delicately, and dressed simply.
On top of that, he had a rough gait and absolutely no interest in flirting.
He was tall and strong, with shoulders that commanded respect.
As he grew, his muscles broadened, and his mere presence was enough to make others step aside.
Not because he was troublesome, but because he was imposing.
Still, whenever someone bothered us, he was the one who defended us.
He was our protective monster.
Although he wasn’t good at school, he became the backbone of his family.
When the Torres family went through hard times, he was the one who worked tirelessly to keep them afloat.
While his brothers studied in the city, Juanpa took care of the land, the house, and them.
As he grew older, he became the rock of his family.
He had no degrees or city clothes, but everyone respected him.
Even his brothers listened to him without complaint; he was the only one who could scold them without getting any backtalk.
And that… that was what made me fall in love with him.
I watched him silently as he worked, sweating beneath the sun, taking care of everyone without expecting anything in return.
He was an exemplary man, grounded and confident in himself.
He didn’t care if people called him crude or rustic.
He was simply himself.
And boy, did that captivate me.
But Juanpa didn’t even look at me.
He didn’t understand my shy hints or why I waited for him every morning with hot coffee.
He didn’t notice that I baked him a cake every birthday, either.
To him, it was all just a friendly gesture from a close neighbor.
Thinking of me as anything more than that… was simply inconceivable.
Or maybe I just wasn’t his type.
But then, who was?
He had never been known to have a girlfriend or even flirt with anyone.
Some people said he liked men, although no one had ever seen him with one.
And maybe, just maybe… he simply didn’t need anyone.
***
That morning, as always, I stood in front of the fence that separated our yards, waiting for Juanpa so I could give him his coffee.
I knew how he liked it: strong and with very little sugar. I usually served it with some cookies, a piece of bread, or doughnuts. Other times, I didn’t. But I always enjoyed watching him drink it and smile at me.
That day, I dared to ask him the question that wouldn’t let me sleep peacefully.
—Juanpa… —I began nervously. —Do you like women?
He spit out his coffee.
Oh, why did I ask him that? How stupid! That wasn’t the question.
I avoided his gaze out of embarrassment and wished the ground would swallow me up right then and there.
When he recovered from the shock, he looked me in the eyes as if waiting for the reason behind my question.
—I… —I hesitated and started fidgeting with my fingers.
Oh, I was such an idiot. Couldn’t I have approached the subject another way?
—What exactly do you want to know? —he asked, as if he knew that wasn’t what was really troubling me. Had he noticed that I liked him?
No, how embarrassing!
—Well… —I didn’t know how to approach the subject without ruining everything. —I… —I licked my lips, let out a sigh, and gathered my courage. —Why have you never had a girlfriend? Don’t you feel attracted to anyone? Have you never liked anyone?
I felt relieved once I got all the questions out, even though I had been invasive.
He took his time answering.
His gaze drifted down to the coffee cup, and his lips trembled slightly.
—Well… —He looked me in the eyes. —I’ve always liked someone, but she already has a suitor.
What?!
Juanpa was in love…
I felt my heart shatter into a thousand pieces. It hurt so much.
Why did I even ask?
—Oh… —I muttered dejectedly. —But if he’s only a suitor, you still have a chance. You should tell her…
I couldn’t believe I was encouraging him to confess his feelings to another woman.
Ah, but seeing him happy, with or without me, was worth my heartbreak. Juanpa deserved to love and be loved.
I wasn’t going to deny that I was jealous and a little angry. Maybe I even felt like whacking her with a broom. Still, I forced a smile and shook him by the shoulder.
The contact was electrifying and made my heart leap wildly.
—It’s not that simple —he replied sadly. —They have a promise between them. They agreed to get married when they were children. I couldn’t compete with him: an educated man, stylish, so charming that he steals the sighs of every woman. I don’t like that, because she deserves to be his and no one else’s; however, everyone has access to him. I hate that he doesn’t deserve her, but it was her decision. There’s nothing I can do.
How sad. My poor Juanpa.
It hurts so much to see him so unhappy, so frustrated. I am too.
Like him, I’m in love with someone who loves someone else. How wonderful it would have been if he had looked at me, if he had loved me the way he loved her.
I watched him walk away with the same strength he always carried, as if he weren’t carrying a broken heart.
I pretended, too. I did it that day, the next, and the next…
I never stopped making his coffee or looking for excuses to talk to him. I was a masochist…
Even so, I waited for him every morning, and my heart—the foolish thing that refused to give up—would flutter with joy whenever his greeting mingled with the roosters’ crowing at dawn.
I would never tell him I loved him. Nor would I tell him that I cried at night ever since he told me he loved someone else.
Despite how much it hurt, I prayed every day that she would notice him, that she would give him a chance, so he could be happy.
Juanpa deserved that.
***
More than a month had passed since Juanpa confessed his feelings to me. Too bad they weren’t feelings for me, but for another woman. Since that day, I had cried through many nights and overthought everything, and if I ever went to bed smiling, that smile quickly faded.
Even so, that routine of seeing him in the mornings, making his coffee, sometimes putting out some cookies or a piece of cake for him… all of it filled me with a warmth I didn’t even understand myself.
Although sometimes I got angry with him for not loving me, I was still happy to see him. My smiles came naturally whenever he told me one of his stories about the other workers.
But when he wasn’t around, I remembered that he liked another girl, and my smiles faded. Sadness was my daily bread. Sometimes I didn’t feel like doing anything: going out, or even eating. And at night, in my room, my thoughts came to visit me… and so did the tears.
But that day, I had decided things would be different. I had to accept that Juanpa didn’t love me and close that chapter of my life, move on.
That afternoon, I went to the village square and bought myself an ice cream. With a smile that was fake at first, I walked through the lively streets; then I sat on a park bench and watched the children play and laugh.
The day was beautiful and cool, perfect for starting over and forgetting about heartbreak. However, everything was ruined.
Little by little, my smile faded, and sadness settled back into my chest.
I saw him walking beside a woman. They were both laughing, engrossed in a pleasant conversation. They looked so comfortable and happy together that I felt like crying.
Was she the girl he liked? I thought she looked a little too old for him, but that was beside the point.
They were on a date. That much was obvious. Jealousy consumed me, and I squeezed my ice cream so hard that it started getting all over my hands.
—Natalia? —Juanpa’s voice startled me. —What a surprise to find you here!
I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. All the anger I’d felt before turned into fear and embarrassment. It was ridiculous to feel that way; I didn’t understand myself.
I tried to act natural, but my nerves were obvious.
—This is Tomasa, a client —he introduced his friend. —We’re doing business, and we just finished dropping off some documents at the government office —he explained, as if I had asked.
I didn’t know if it was just my imagination, but he seemed a little nervous. The woman smiled at me sweetly, then gave Juanpa a mischievous look.
—Nice to meet you, Natalia —she greeted me, and I replied out of courtesy. —Well, I’ll say goodbye here.
She gave Juanpa a knowing look and left.
How strange.
—You’re all dirty —he said. Then he pulled a handkerchief from his shirt pocket and started cleaning me up.
My heart pounded, and I couldn’t help staring at him.
Juanpa had a wild kind of beauty.
And I liked it.
Somehow, we ended up going out together. We went to the movies and then out to dinner. Saying goodbye to him made me sad. For one night, I felt like he was my boyfriend, but that was impossible because he loved someone else.
Despite that reality, I went to bed with a smile on my face and butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
The days went by as usual, but one afternoon, Diego, Juanpa’s brother, came to visit me.
—Hi —I greeted him.
He ran toward me, took my hands, and kissed me on the forehead. He caught me off guard; I wasn’t expecting him to do that.
—Hey, what are you doing? —I protested.
But he only smiled flirtatiously, the way he did with every girl in the square.
—Hey, stop doing that. It’s weird —I told him.
—Why is it weird? You and I are going to get married —he replied calmly.
Huh?
I froze, completely caught off guard.
—What? —I murmured, astonished and drawing a blank as I tried to make sense of that crazy man’s words. —What are you talking about? I would never marry a womanizer like you. Besides, my heart… —my voice trembled for a second— already belongs to someone.
His eyes widened, along with his mouth.
—What are you talking about? —he demanded. —You and I are getting married. Ever since we were children, I claimed you as mine. Don’t get jealous of those girls I go out with; I was just experimenting so I could learn how to love you. But I promise that when we get married, I’ll be yours and yours alone.
I looked him up and down, stunned by his stupidity. Had he hit his head?
I put one hand on my waist, just like my mother did whenever she was about to argue.
—Listen, understand something. I would never settle for a man who needs to experiment with half the village before committing. Besides, I don’t like you. And another thing: since when do you get to decide? You never asked me if I wanted to marry you, did you?
—Why would I? I didn’t have to tell you; I told Juanpa. He gave me his permission.
—What the hell are you talking about? —I asked, irritated.
—You know Juanpa was the leader of the group. He looked after us, protected us, taught us things. So I told him that you and I would get married when we grew up, and he gave me his blessing.
—Oh! Why would you tell him that?! You didn’t even ask for my opinion! If you’re going to marry me, you’re supposed to tell me. Wait… —I said, narrowing my eyes. —When did you tell Juanpa that?
—What do you mean, when? Oh, I’ve always told him. There was even a time when I thought you liked him because he kept looking at you. I asked him, and he denied it. He got nervous, but I didn’t think much of it because you know how weird he is. I went ahead and told him about us in case he had gotten his hopes up about you, so he could forget about it. You’d make a good wife for me. You two don’t belong together.
I couldn’t believe what that idiot was telling me.
—Are you serious? —I asked, feeling my heart race.
—Yes —he replied without hesitation.
Then I understood.
Maybe I was the girl Juanpa had told me about.
I didn’t want to get my hopes up; however, my heart was already leaping with excitement and joy, desperate to believe it was true. That this misunderstanding meant I was the girl Juanpa was in love with.
I wanted to scream like a crazy woman and celebrate, but I just stood there frozen, putting the pieces of the puzzle together.
After whacking Diego with a broom for his stupidity and audacity, and making it clear that I liked someone else, I ran toward the field where Juanpa was working.
My heart pounded as I approached, and my hands were sweaty. When I caught sight of him a short distance away, I stopped, unable to go any farther. I was terrified.
I turned around to leave, but Juanpa’s voice stopped me.
—What are you doing here? —His voice was sad.
I turned around, but I couldn’t answer him. I was too nervous.
—It’s time for an afternoon snack. Come with me.
He pulled me by the arm and led me to a secluded spot. Under a tree, he poured me some tea from a thermos and gave me cookies his mother had made.
They were delicious.
—I can imagine why you came —he said absently.
I spit out what was in my mouth.
—Really? —I asked, somewhere between disbelief and fear.
—You came to tell me that we’re brothers-in-law now. I heard Diego was going to confess today.
Anger burned inside me. The whole thing seemed so ridiculous.
—You’re such a brute —I told him. —How could you think I was interested in Diego? Worse, that I would marry that shameless womanizer?
Juanpa dropped his cup and stared at me in surprise.
—Isn’t that the case?
I slapped him on the shoulder.
—No, you idiot. That’s Diego’s crazy idea. He did it to annoy you or because of some stupid competition. He doesn’t even care about me. What a terrible brother! He lied to you to keep you away from me. Why didn’t you ever tell me?
Silence.
Juanpa looked at the red glow of the sky, since the sun would soon set, and let out a long sigh.
—I wasn’t going to compete with my brother, much less interfere in his relationship…
—There is no relationship —I assured him. —I… —I hesitated, and my voice trembled. —I like you.
I felt like my heart was about to burst out of my chest.
There was a tense silence that soon made me embarrassed, and I wanted to take back my words.
—A-are you serious? —he stammered, avoiding my gaze.
Then I dared to do something I never would have done in my right mind.
I closed the little distance between us and pressed my lips to his. We stayed that way, not knowing what to do. Me because of fear, embarrassment, and inexperience; Juanpa because of his shock.
But soon, he moved his lips, accepting the kiss.
And that was the first of many.
Juanpa and I began a beautiful relationship that eventually led us to get engaged. Then we got married and had ten children.
Now, more than five decades later, I look at my big old man with even more love than I had at the beginning. He still has the strength to play with his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. He teaches them how to plant and harvest fruit, builds swings for them, and tells them stories around a bonfire.
I love him like crazy. Juanpa has been a wonderful husband and an exemplary father. We started as two, and now we’re a big, sprawling family.
I never regretted choosing him, the big, hardworking brute who never went to college or wore elegant clothes, but who always treated me with love, respect, and devotion, and makes me feel like the luckiest woman in the universe despite all the years we’ve spent together.
Our love never faded. I got the best of the brothers.
